It's aliiiivvvvveeee!
I've resurrected a far too-old blog. I've gone through the older posts and have deleted/archived many, but kept available ones that I thought were appropriate to share. Hopefully that explains the disjointed feel of the blog as a whole.
I think about writing/blogging often. My problem is that I prefer to do it anonymously, so that I can simply say what I want to say, and not censor it for my known audience. I am not, and will not be, one of those people who boast "I speak my mind, no matter what! If you don't like it, don't let the door hit you on the way out!"
That's simply not me. And I'm so glad. I love people. I truly do. They are maddening and infuriating at times, but I love them, and I care about their feelings. I censor things that I say because I am aware of how certain things will come across to certain people. I try to keep their hearts in mind as I talk/write/type/act, and I don't think that's a weakness. I think it's a vulnerability, but not a weakness.
That being said...sometimes I just want to say what's on my heart without fear of reprocussion. This blog isn't anonymous, I opened it up a few years back during a particularly trying time in my life. As far as I know, many people still have the address for it. Some may be subscribed and will be notified of this update. I have no idea. All I know is that this is as anonymous I'm going to get while still being myself. Yes, I suppose I could open up a new blog and hide my name or any specific details about myself. But I don't want to do that. I don't want to hide. I don't need complete anonymity. Just a tad more than normal, I suppose. Grin.
If you glance down through the random smatterings of posts that I have left from earlier years, you'll see the reasoning behind the name of this blog, and some details about myself. But I will update a little.
I'm a woman, in my late 20's. The two most defining aspects about myself are that first of all, I am a follower of Jesus Christ. It's not my religion, it's my life. Secondly, I am a single mother to one daughter. I was married a decade ago, and that began a 10-year roller coaster that I'm still riding. The short story is that my husband died when our daughter was an infant, and I have raised her as a single mother. I have had a huge amount of help from my parents, but I have been her sole parent all of her life.
I'm a serious person. A thinker. Many say I think too much. I'm beginning to disagree. When I say "serious," that is not synonymous with boring or not fun. I've just never been a...silly...person. You know the type. Even as a teen, I wasn't one of the girls skipping through the mall arm in arm with a dozen of my friends. I was back home with my best friend, cranking the stereo, talking until 3 in the morning, and laughing so hard our stomachs were sore the next day. I'm nothing special, but I'm not a simple person. I don't like to take things at face value; rather, I look into the heart of anything and everything and attempt to see it as a whole. I'm definitely an introvert, but don't agree with the negative connotation that word receives. By introvert, I simply mean that I am happiest and most at ease, at peace, when I am with one or two people that I love and trust, as opposed to being in a big group. I don't like the spotlight being on me, but I don't mind attention from those who love me. And I'm even completely comfortable just being with myself. I happen to enjoy my own company. Give me a latte and a good book, and leave me alone. Grin.
So that's me, in a nutshell. But I'm young and new at loving myself, so I feel like I've barely scratched the surface of who I truly am. Stay tuned.
